The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize