respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
