my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
