Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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