Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
