is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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