I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
