We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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