Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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