so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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