yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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