Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
