Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
