he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
