I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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