so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
