You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize