He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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