He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
