I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
