Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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