do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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