thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
