Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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