ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize