When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
