love makes seman taste better
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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