Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
