barbara walters just said penis...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
