Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
