these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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