I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
