he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
