she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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