ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
