dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
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