i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize