Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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