Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
