Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
