my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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