sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
