Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
