You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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