Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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