OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
