i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
