Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
