This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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