my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
