Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
