...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
