this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
