He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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