i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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