doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
