this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
