Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
